Friday, May 13, 2005

 

Answers to Anonymous (BETA)

Who'd have thought when I started the Ask Marissa post that I'd get more questions in a day than you get cheeses in a packet of mini-babybel? Okay, so they're all from the same bloke (strange name he's got: "anonymous". Though mommy and poppy nearly called my brother that). Well, they all need answering and Mommy's on a weekend trip to Philidelphia so here goes:

"How come you want all the web to put graphical banners on their sites but you do not have them on x.com ? I am referring to the new graphical xsense that you just launched."

As webmasters begin to come round and modify our pages to our view of the web we perceive there'll be a small issue. Everywhere will look like Company X and how can we then differentiate ourselves as slick and different? Of course we have a genius solution, by encouraging webmasters to put nasty graphical banners on their sites we can ensure that x.com always looks superior.

"When I make a custom site search on my site using your service, why do you show 4 ads above the web results while on x.com you only show 2 ads above the web results ?"

Because we can.

"Are you in a relationship right now ? I love the color of your eyes and I want to marry you and make babies with you"

I need to check my job description but I don't think I'm contractually required to improve the user experience quite that much.

"When are you going to offer Viagra, Mesothelioma and Weewee Enlargement on Company X Store?"

People who use Company X have an enhanced user experience and thus an enhanced life without the need for artificial stimulants.

I hope that answers your questions.

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* Unreal, pretend, not true. Marissa, or indeed any Marissa, did not write this. This is a joke, a subtle dig at a company similar to CompanyX.